I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
