I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Randomize
