I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
