Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
do herpes really smell.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
