no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
