why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
