We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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