yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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