I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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