you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
