i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize