I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
