I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
