i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
