You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
