I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
