i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
