Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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