I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
