You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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