So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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