I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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