totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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