is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
