You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
