She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
