I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
