On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
