Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize