do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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