just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize