how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
