I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize