I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
even my farts smell like vagina
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
