He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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