ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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