help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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