I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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