She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
