i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
