You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
