whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
3 2 1 whiskey
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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