I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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