how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
