I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
