Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
