and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
