Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
