I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I need water and some morals
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
