dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
