it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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