While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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