Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
