i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
