We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
