So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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