We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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