I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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