i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
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I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
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At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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