Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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