whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
