3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
