i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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