Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
