just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The feeling are messing with the penis
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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