he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I think your dad took our porno
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
