I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
