so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
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dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
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I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?