i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
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You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.