I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
