Texts From Last Night

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  (425): View more from Washington

  he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.

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  (425): he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick. http://tfl.nu/08s1
  Replies (28) Good night (4842) Bad night (796)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.

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  (231): I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out. http://tfl.nu/21gu
  Replies (12) Good night (3741) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.

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  (360): You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there. http://tfl.nu/r1ke
  Replies (18) Good night (5368) Bad night (670)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.

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  (303): She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before. http://tfl.nu/yrqt
  Replies (82) Good night (9401) Bad night (1260)
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  (707): View more from California

  Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.

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  (707): Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive. http://tfl.nu/ly82
  Replies (6) Good night (3185) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.

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  (302): He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was. http://tfl.nu/ureg
  Replies (6) Good night (1275) Bad night (2523)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.

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  (508): she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms. http://tfl.nu/mjwo
  Replies (6) Good night (1029) Bad night (1944)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.

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  (734): The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me. http://tfl.nu/j8wb
  Replies (6) Good night (820) Bad night (1598)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.

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  (512): I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas. http://tfl.nu/ufwf
  Replies (28) Good night (4025) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears

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  (616): I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears http://tfl.nu/z9kz
  Replies (12) Good night (669) Bad night (874)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  Hahah. They reconnected again?

  (1-707): View more from California

  Like with his penis I guess

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  (707): Hahah. They reconnected again? (1-707): Like with his penis I guess http://tfl.nu/k3d2
  Replies (1) Good night (525) Bad night (243)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.

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  (480): She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine. http://tfl.nu/3eun
  Replies (6) Good night (715) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.

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  (512): That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine. http://tfl.nu/cf73
  Replies (3) Good night (525) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems

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  (239): I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems http://tfl.nu/p6dg
  Replies (8) Good night (636) Bad night (325)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch

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  (781): I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch http://tfl.nu/uy9o
  Replies (7) Good night (561) Bad night (277)

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