In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
A bitchslap is in order.
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