I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
