I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
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