wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
