Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
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then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
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It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
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